20090729

Like Fine Wine, Some Things You Just Can't Rush

Recently while talking with my son, sort of out of the blue, he commented that five of his best buddies were engaged and preparing for their wedding day. Last words of the text were scary, sad. Now that he's officially over the twenty-something "hill" he's feeling what most of these second-decaders are feeling; an unauthentic pressure to find a spouse and settle down.
Across the hundreds of miles, I thought of him as I always do, the little person getting his walking legs at eight months old. I reassured him that he was far too young to think about settling down as he had so much of life to live before the happily ever after scenario. But somehow amidst all the encouragement and reassurance, we both knew reality was setting in, and any day he would receive his God-gift of a Mrs. Right; and the only thing left to do would be prepare to put on his husband shoes.
I'm not a big fan of having conversations by text; but, in this new-tech world that seems to be the quickest way to reach someone, sin answering machines and voice mail. For Mother's Day, God-blessed him to gift me with an ITouch which has changed my attitude about over-rated technology. And texting seems to have us communicating more than the occasional phone call; which has its pos and negs.
In truth, I pray that he will patiently wait and endure until God sends his spouse. If that's tomorrow, wonderful. If it's ten years from now, even better. Marriage is kind of like pregnancies. If you get enough women of child-bearing age together, eventually it will seem like fertilty is in the water. It's the same with marriage. One pal proposes; the next thing you know another gets the happy pill, and on and on.
But, to all out there who're feeling this faux-pressure to jump the broom, listen to a few people who did so prematurely, and I assure you the yen will gain sensibility.
I remember I was his age when I said "I do," which makes it oh-so easy to advise him to not hurry. The time to ponder the thought of marriage is when that right person enters your life and you know they are who you should journey the rest of your life with. This timing is not measured by job stability, or age, or any other reason, other than that you believe in your deepest self this is who you should spend forever after with. Wisdom notes that marriage without money is more difficult, than marriage with financial stability. This is why I strongly encourage him to focus on laying a foundation that will prepare him to someday show his queen that he's worthy and able to represent her as king. Marriage is one of those things you can't just do because everyone else is doing it. True love is a gift from God that comes in His Divine Timing; not at any particular age. Some receive it at 16, others 76. We honor God for this gift by taking vows of marriage. Marriage, in and of itself, is a ministry that two people should dedicate their entire life strengthening according to God's Divine Purpose set forth in Genesis, when He acknowledged "It is not good for man to be alone." But realize, he made woman, for procreation purposes. Today, an unmarried is not truly alone. There are a whole lot of guy and gal pals to have Godly fun with until the queen (for males) enters the picture. In closing, it's difficult enough to charter the 20-something waters without trying to make happen something whose season has not yet come.The only thing sad and scary about best friends getting married, is believing that's your queue to imitate the same. Someday I want to be a M-I-L and a GramMY; but like fine wine, some things you just can't rush, lest you run the risk of experiencing no taste, worst yet, bad taste for life.