There's The THUG; & There's The Person Who Gets Their Kicks Hanging With Them
I'm rarely moved by people who hang with THUGs, and reap the consequences of this chosen behavior. I define a THUG as a Tankhead Hurting Us Gals (or Guys.) One must not presume that all THUGs are of the male gender. There are just as many female THUGs. This by no means is meant to berate these individuals. In fact, they are to be respected for the fact that in most instances they will outright acknowledge that they are who they are, and have no hope or desire to be changed by the persons whose interest they peak. But most people, females in particular, choose to ignore these words of truth and allow themselves to become a part of the THUG life. For some reason young women are drawn more to men who have an 'I will protect you' persona; like a bodyguard to protect them from the blows of life. There's a definite irony in this attraction. Usually these same "bodyguards" will turn on them like a pitbull so often turns on its master; most often with very little, or no warning. My personal observation is that people who find themselves attracted to a THUG suffer serious issues with insecurity. They feel severely inferior about who they are and how they are perceived. Thus they look for the most "cool" or "hip" gangsta in the room. Oddly this person usually lacks any real characteristics of who they are; whether in dress, conversation, financial stability, etc. It's almost like they're in need of someone to represent their alter ego; while at the same time, allowing themselves to be a silent party to a dual villain-hero relationship. Most often a THUG is very honest about his (or her) ability to snap if provoked. But in all the laughter and light-heartedness of the moment these words are usually glossed over as things that happened in the past, having no direct correlation to this new attraction. A THUG is capable of being emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive with little conscience or regard for the persons they harm. They do allow for their "sensitive side" to rise up long enough to apologize for their "unintentional" behavior. The victim-prey is usually such a bag of damaged goods that they feast on this soothing attention of promising never to harm them again. Anyone whose ever known people who have an affinity to dating THUGs, will attest that in most cases one of the parties involved is extremely beautiful; usually both physically and in spirit. And oddly enough it's the most attractive person who is drawn to the THUG, than the THUG to the attractive person. It's like a THUG knows his limitations and doesn't draw unlikely persons into his space. He probably never ceases to be amazed at what gems his lure attracts. Sometimes a couple looks odd when they're together. But they're probably very much alike; because a woman who is attracted to a THUG is subconsciously seeking a high, that being a part of this rebellious lifestyle offers. And so when you see a quiet and polite woman attracted to, and entangled with a guy whose reputation precedes him, don't even bother to look twice. Just realize that something in her childhood has brought her to this place that seems normal. In final, women who stay in abusive relationships, and go back to abusive relationships, are simply mimicking something familiar to them. It's usually an abusive father-figure that makes the THUG life seem normal; and, keeps them from seeing the devastation their wreaking on their own life. The media should never portray the woman as the victim when a THUG abuses her and she chooses to stay. It all comes down to one observation: It takes one to know one. Surprisingly to many, there are some women who not only love a good brawl; but, have won their share. And just because they looked like they got whipped; for them it's all a part of being in the ring. They usually aren't shy about loading on the tattoos, dripping in 5th Avenue attire from Chanel to Vuitton. They party hard. They love hard. And sadly, too often in the quietness of the battle, they die hard. They desparately need an education on the mind and how it works; and, why as adults we attract the very things in our childhood we were afraid of. But as far as changing goes; no one can bring about that desire; except a Power within that they must tap into. It will mean denying that part of themselves that gets its security from outside forces; and instead, seek to love and respect who they genuinely are inside. But, if genuinely on the inside they are a THUG, there really is no reason to counsel them; because simply put, they are who they are. From our deepest depths we ultimately attract who we are, or desire to be within.